Friday, January 26, 2007


Going in and out of the LSAC (Law School Admissions Council) website with its pictures of smiling or stern looking future lawyers scrolling by got me thinking. These same kids could be on the cover of an MCAT prep book posing as aspiring doctors and no one would be the wiser. Even so though, it gives the whole process a face. There's this gut assumption when you're working on your application that you're actually competing against HIM, and his great-great grandfater was on Amistad, his father was a supreme court justice, he has a 180 on his LSAT and he's a Peace Corps veteran with a commendation from the Shiek of Petrolstan. Why do they even HAVE these folks on the website? Is it like the personals sites where they show you a heavily doctored picture of a buxom lady up there with the tacit implication that they *all* look like that once you've payed your $9.99 for a peek inside? If that's so then the LSAC folks should have pictures of wheelbarrows full of CASH. Or nice cars. Somehow "serving my fellow man and protecting the moral fiber of this nation" doesn't translate into a jpeg. Don't worry; I didn't use that phrase in my essay. Though, as an endcap, I did have this great idea for an essay if I ever decide to throw my hands up and shoot the moon. Everyone is looking for their "angle" in the personal essays, something that shows how they represent some aspect of diversity and they've overcome an unimagiable hardship to stand before the admissions committee. I figured it would be great to do one on my struggle with LYCANTHROPY. Oh, how I was a happy young child until I was diagnosed with this terrible affliction. How *hard* it was to fit in. I just wanted to run and play and be like the other children but instead I found myself EATING them. I overcame discrimination by EATING THE VILLAGERS and now I want to go to law school so I can EAT--er, advocate for the rights of the less fortunate. I figure they'll give that one readthrough and decide "Well, he's brilliant or he's batshit insane, but either way he's diversity."

Here's to the dog and pony show. Even if you win, you're still an animal.